A title for a paper: "Do Koalas Actively Avoid Consultants?"

 

 

ABSTRACT

Anecdotal evidence suggests that there is a possibility that Koalas (Phascolarctos cinereus) 
actively seek to avoid Consultants engaged in Environmental Assessments for
development proposals. In many cases, environmentally-minded local residents
have little difficulty locating Koalas or evidence of their presence however
Consultants strangely do not stumble across the same evidence. We examine
several development applications including some requiring Referral under the
EPBC Act, and conclude that Koalas may avoid Consultants because their 4WDs
are too big and noisy, Koalas are alarmed by the speed and alacrity of
Consultants entering and leaving the site, or the Consultant's fashion
sense. This lack of contact between Koalas and Consultants often has
deleterious outcomes for Koalas, their habitat is subsequently destroyed for
development.

We draw parallels with other research (Janssen 2012) which showed that a
closely-related species Thylarctos plummetus (Drop Bear) actively seeks
northern European tourists (i.e. backpackers). We suggest that Consultants
be required wear tourist clothing (including sandals) to make them more
attractive to Koalas, and also ban Consultants from buying Vegemite and
rubbing it behind their ears as a Koala repellent.